The Remembering of Hook
by Aint It Fun
Summary: ...What if Hook was never the bad guy? What if the fairy tale we've been told all our lives was wrong? What if Captain Hook had been the hero?


**_Author's Note:_**

_Hello there, my lovely readers. This is just a short little piece I wrote for a class this semester. It's not related to Once Upon a Time at all...although my classmates informed me my idea is very similar to what goes on in the show. So now of course I started watching it out of curiosity and I'm hooked (haha I made a joke, get it?). Anyways, I didn't plan on expanding this further but I could if anyone is interested in reading more. Maybe I could mold it into a Killian Jones tale, or a story based off the original fairy tale. Let me know what ya'll think! :)_

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The boat rocked gently underneath my feet as the waves rolled towards the distant shoreline. It was a feeling of familiarity and comfort, one that I clung to as I found my eyes drawn towards the island I had sworn so many years ago to forget. Of course, memories don't just vanish at will. This was one that had always been there, lurking in the deepest corners of my mind. Awaiting the day when it would once again be relevant. If only the mind were like a pocket you could turn inside out, and the memories loose change you could just shake free, watching them spill and fall to the pavement for some other stranger to pick up and keep forever. If only it were all that simple.

I had tried and tried to convince myself that this was all just a very vivid dream. I thought if I tried hard enough, I would wake up back in London and hear the pitter patter of rain against the windows. I would walk down the carpeted hallway and find my children asleep in their bedroom, safe and sound. I would breathe a sigh of relief and walk back to my sitting room, light a pipe and shake my head at the realness of the dream. Only this was not a dream. I was very much awake, standing on the bow of a ship and breathing in the salty sea air as I stared at the island that had haunted me for years. I supposed I should not have been surprised to find myself there. Sooner or later the island was bound to find a way to pull me back, because it knew it wasn't easy to forget something so fantastical and extraordinary. Neverland would never allow itself to be so easily forgotten.

"Ya' alright there, Cap'n?" A voice came from over my shoulder. I knew it was Smee without even having to turn around. Who else would be hovering over me, worrying like an old mother hen? His voice was tinged with a nervous edge I was slowly growing accustomed to hearing. It was how he always spoke to me now. Like I needed to be treaded around carefully, like some sort of sleeping bear.

I sighed heavily. "For the thousandth time, Smee, I am fine. However if you don't find something else to do besides flitter around me like some sort of annoying bird, I won't be able to stop myself from throwing you overboard. And we both know the mermaids wouldn't take too kindly to a stranger flailing around in their waters. Are we clear?" I pivoted on my heel, turning to face him.

He had his tattered old hat between his hands and was wringing it with an agitated expression on his round, weathered looking face. "Aye, aye, Cap'n. It's just…well you've been rather distracted these past couple of night and me and the crew, we was just-"

"You and the crew just what, Smee?" I said sharply, cutting him off before he had a chance to stutter out the rest of his sentence. I perked a single, dark eyebrow and he cowered under my gaze before hurriedly averting his eyes elsewhere. "Are you trying to hint at some sort of mutiny?"

Smee's eyes shot up, widening considerably as his mouth fell open. It was almost comical. "N-n-no! Absolutely not, Cap'n! It's just, well ya' haven't given us any orders for almost two days now. We was just startin' to wonder what it is ya' might be waitin' for. Don't think ya' wanna be spendin' too much time doin' nothin', especially when Pan has…when he has…well, ya' know." The end of the sentence fell off into a hushed whisper as his eyes scanned my expression hesitantly.

I turned my back on him abruptly as I felt my resolve begin to crack, not wanting him to even get a glimpse of the brokenness I had been so desperately trying to hide. I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat. "I know, Smee. I haven't forgotten why we had to come back here." I finally said quietly, watching the sun sink lower and lower behind the snowcapped mountains, taking my brashness with it. I closed my eyes against the horrible beauty of the island, leaning forward against the ship's railing. I didn't have to say anything. He knew as well as I did that I was quickly running out of time and options. I didn't have to admit to Smee that I had no idea where to go from here. That Pan had bested me once too many times.

I suddenly felt Smee's hand on my shoulder and I flinched at his touch. "We'll get 'em, Cap'n. We will." He assured me. He stood there at my side for a long moment, while I struggled to pull myself back together. I had fleeting memory of a time when we were Lost Boys, here on the island. Standing side by side thought the ups and downs of every adventure. The thought vanished just as quickly as it came, though, and a moment later I was straightening up and smoothing the creases in the front of my jacket.

"Tomorrow, Smee. Tomorrow we will try again." I assured him, although I knew it was more for myself than anyone else. I turned and brushed past him as I headed towards my cabin. "Keep an eye on deck. I need to rest."

If he answered, I didn't hear him, my mind already pulling my somewhere different. The sun had set completely by now and the world was blanketed by a thick darkness, lit only by the impressive scattering of stars. Had this been any other time and place, I would have stayed on deck a little longer to admire the beauty of it. Now, though, all I could feel when I glanced up at the clear night sky was a bitterness slowly evolving into angry rage that needed to be let out.

I shut the cabin door tightly behind me, allowing the darkness of the room to swallow me up. I ran my one good hand over my tired face, feeling the stubble that had sprouted over my chin. I couldn't remember a time I had felt so utterly defeated and helpless. Pan had the two things I valued more than my own life, more than anything, and he had done nothing but convince me that I was foolish and weak to think I could save them. I lowered my hand back to my side, curling my fingers into a tight fist before turning and slamming my fist as hard as I could against the wood paneled door. It did nothing to the pent up aggression burning inside me. Instead, it seemed to just fuel it even more.

In a few, long strides I was across the room and with one giant sweep of my arm, I flung everything from the top of my desk and it scattered to the floor all around me. It still wasn't enough. I toppled over the desk chair before raising the glinting hook that sat menacingly on the end of my wrist and ripped angry looking slashes through the thick, velvet curtains that hung around the bed. My breath was coming in short, heavy bursts, and my chest pumping furiously up and down. I could still feel the rage burning its way through my entire body, making me feel like every inch of me was on fire.

"Well, I certainly don't remember you being so angry." A tiny voice called through the darkness of the room.

I let out a strangled yelp of surprise, stumbling backwards against the bedpost as I looked around wildly for the source of the voice. "Who's there?" I demanded. My voice shook with what I could only describe as a strange combination of anger and surprise. I lunged towards my desk, feeling around the floor for the lantern and pack of my matches that had most likely fallen victim during my rampage around the cabin. I suddenly found I didn't need it, though, as the room started to fill with a faint, shimmering glow. Shadows danced across the room, creating strange shapes and patterns against the walls.

I slowly rose to my feet and turned, my heart thumping furiously behind my ribcage, though the anger that had been so prominent before was slowly ebbing away. My breath caught in my throat as I spotted the glowing sphere of light hovering just inches from my head. My hand, which at some point had found its way to the hilt of the sword strapped to my hip, suddenly fell limply to my side as I peered closely at the tiny little orb of light.

"Tink?" I asked hesitantly.

The light flickered slightly before dulling just enough for me to make out the flawless, beautiful features of one very familiar fairy. Her red lips were pulled up at the corners of her mouth in a soft smile, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. Her fragile, little wings fluttered behind her as she floated towards the desk and settled herself there on the wooden top. I watched with wide eyes, hardly daring to really believe she was actually there, as she dangled her legs over the edge of the desk, running her hands over her skirt. She looked exactly the same as I remembered. The golden blonde hair, the pale glowing skin, and the little green dress cleverly sewn together with fallen leaves and flower petals. As a boy, I had always thought of Tinker Bell as being the most mesmerizing creature in all of Neverland. Looking at her now, I found I still thought that.

"Hello, Jimmy." She finally said, her voice like the soft tinkling of bells. "Or shall I call you Captain Hook now?" She nodded towards my glinting hook before folding her hands across her lap.

I found myself shaking my head. "It's James now. Just James." I corrected her. I couldn't remember the last time anyone had called me Jimmy. The old nickname reignited a stir of old memories long since buried away.

She wrinkled her tiny nose. "James doesn't suit you." She let out a tiny sigh. I watched, shifting uncomfortably as she looked over me with an uncertain expression. "My, my…you've certainly gotten taller. You're all grown up now. If it weren't for your eyes, I'd hardly know it was you. No signs of that lanky little boy with the dark curls."

I was surprised to feel a tug at the corners of my lips. "And you're still annoyingly small." I finally said. She let out a high pitched, tinkling giggle that had once been a sound I loved to hear, though that was years and years ago now. A different lifetime altogether. The thought weighed me down and brought me back to the reality of the situation at hand. I dropped down onto the edge of the bed, shaking my head slightly. "Why are you here?"

The smile was wiped from her face, caught off guard by the abrupt change of mood in the room. "What do you mean?"

I felt a tiny stab of annoyance. "Don't, Tink. You know exactly what I mean." I sighed. "We're not on the same side. Not anymore. I've been back for weeks now and this is the first I've seen of you. Why else would you be avoiding me so if you weren't still helping Peter?" I spit out his name bitterly. It tasted like acid on my tongue.

Hurt flashed across her features and for a brief second, I regretted my harsh choice of words. I knew I was right, though, and we both know what I was getting at…which was could I really trust she was here in good faith.

"Jimmy, have you forgotten how you even managed to leave Neverland in the first place?" She asked in a voice just barely above a whisper. "Why would I have helped you escape only to turn around and undo it all these years later? You have to understand…Peter has only gotten more dangerous and more powerful since you've been gone. If I were to try and run from him, I'd have nowhere to go. There would be no place safe for me to hide. So trust me, please, when I say I had no idea he was going after your children. I hadn't any idea that his grudge against you for abandoning him still ran so deep." She hung her head solemnly. "I'm risking my life to be here right now because I want to help you."

My heart felt heavy inside my chest as I watched her. I wanted nothing more than to trust her, as her words took me back to a time when she had been one of my truest friends. Without her help, Smee and I would still be trapped in this god forsaken world. We'd still be Lost Boys. I would have to trust that memory, since there was no other way for me to test the strength and loyalty of a friendship that had existed so long ago.

"Are they alright? My children…are they safe?" I asked hesitantly.

Tink raised her head slowly. "For now, yes. I think Peter means to use them as a way to taunt you. It's not them he's angry with, after all. It's you. He'll use them to get to you." She paused for half a moment, looking at me with sadness behind her glassy eyes. "And then when he's tired of that game, he'll make them Lost Boys. Do you remember what that means?"

I closed my eyes, fighting back the uneven surge of panic and anger that began to swell inside of me. Of course I did. "He'll take their memories. They'll forget every piece of their life that existed outside of Neverland." I forced myself to open my eyes and look at Tink, where she sat perfectly still on the edge of the desk. "Including me. They'll forget about me."

She nodded. "Yes." The word was almost inaudible as it left her lips. "They wouldn't even recognize you."

I ran my hand through my untidy hair. I had exhausted all other choices. There were no options left and I already knew, without thinking it any farther, that I was going to trust her. She was the only hope I had left of getting my children back. Of saving them from the same fate no one had been able to save me from when I was just a child, although I had no way of knowing back then what Pan was doing. "What do you want in return?" I asked carefully as I stood from perch on the edge of the mattress.

Tink shook her head, studying me with her pale, silver colored eyes. The light around her seemed to pulsate before growing even brighter. "Nothing. Just your word that you'll do everything you can to help me stop Peter once and for all." Her voice had gained a hardened edge, her small hands balled up into tiny fists. "I won't stand by any longer and watch as he destroys lives for his own gain."

My mouth set into a thin hard line as I nodded. "Then you have my word."

"And you have mine as well." She said. "Peter may be clever, but he lacks the wisdom that comes with growing up." Her wings started to flitter and she slowly rose into the air until she hovered just above the desk. "I have to go back tonight, though. If Peter wakes and figures out where I've gone, we won't have a chance. I'll come back. Tomorrow night, before dawn. Then I'll take you to your children." She promised.

"Just be careful, Tink. We both know what he's capable of." I warned her, watching as she glided towards the open porthole.

She paused, turning to look at me over her bare shoulder. "I always am." She said with a small, barely there smile. "I missed you, by the way." With that, she vanished through the porthole and I watched her glow slowly fade as she flew farther and farther out over the open water and away from the ship. It wasn't until she had disappeared completely and I could no longer see the dim glow of her light that I turned away from the window.

I crouched next to the desk, feeling for the pack of matches but instead finding shards of glass from the shattered lantern. I left them there, straightening the toppled desk chair before sinking into it and settling into the darkness. I propped my elbows up onto the desk and buried my face into my hands. I couldn't help but wonder how many other families I had unknowingly helped Pan tear apart. How many children I had helped him steal away from parents, who had then most likely spent the rest of their lives wondering what they had done to deserve to have a child stolen away. I was rocked by the feeling of how much I wanted my sons back. Being separated from them left me with a horrible, miserable ache that felt like it would hollow me from the inside out until there was nothing left of me. And knowing I had caused this same feeling to others in the world made me wonder if that was something I maybe deserved.

There was suddenly a tapping on the door and I flinched, shooting up straight. Before I could even call out an answer, the door swung open and Smee appeared, holding a lantern in his hand. "Cap'n, there's-" He stopped midsentence, holding his lantern out and illuminating the room. His eyes widened slightly. "What the bloody 'ell happened in here?" He asked, stepping further into the room and the heavy wooden door creaked shut behind him.

A tired sigh escaped my lips. "Lost my temper." I mumbled.

He nodded towards the broken lamp on the ground. "Best clean that up 'fore someone gets hurt." He turned to leave.

"Tink came to see me." I said quietly, watching as he froze with one hand reaching out towards the door. He swung back around to look at me.

"Tinker Bell? She came here?" He asked incredulously, his voice a loud whisper. He shook his head in disbelief, crossing the room towards me before slumping against the desk. "Lord, I missed that lil' firefly."

"She's a fairy, Smee." I said tiredly.

"I know that, James." He answered, losing all formality now that we were away from the rest of the crew. He looked down at me, his salt and pepper eyebrows knitted close together. "What'd she want?"

I cleared my throat. "To help. She wants to help rescue my sons."

"And?" He prompted.

"And she wants my help in stopping Pan for good."

He let out a low whistle, tugging his hat from his head and balling it up in between his hands. "I'm hopin' like hell ya' accepted that offer." He sounded more hopeful than he had in days. I felt a little more assured that I had made the right call by allying with Tink.

"I did. She's the reason we got out of here after all."

It was quiet for a moment as we both lost our way inside our own thoughts. I watched the flicker of the flame inside his lantern as it danced and swayed behind the glass. "Smee," I finally broke the silence. "Do you ever feel guilty for how we helped Pan…when we were Lost Boys?"

His shoulders sagged slightly as he looked at me sideways. "Ya' know I do, James. But ain't nothin' we can do 'bout it now 'cept stop him once and for all like Tink said." He stopped as he shoved his faded red hat onto his head. "Anyways, he had us all fooled nice and good, didn't he? Thought we was helpin' orphans find a new home. How could we know he was takin' 'em from perfectly good families?" He added sadly. "Don't forget that's why we left. We got of here when we did find out, didn't we?"

I shook my head. "What kind of monster feeds off the memories of children?"

"The kind that needs stoppin'." Smee answered, patting my shoulder.

"I think I need some air." I said suddenly, feeling cramped inside the small cabin, as if all the memories I had tried so hard to suppress were suddenly pushing in on me, trying to suffocate me. I stood abruptly from the desk and Smee jumped to his feet, following my outside into the cool, dark night.

I took in a deep breath of the salty sea air. "I just can't wait for this all to be over with, Smee. So I can take my children home." I finally said.

"Then let's find 'em, James. So we can leave Neverland for good." He was staring out towards the poisonous island with a guarded expression. I followed his gaze towards the shadowy purple mountains and the crystal clear waters that I once used to find so beautiful. The memories burned from every corner of my mind. "Think of the tale you'll be able to tell them, though…of how James defeated Pan."

"Captain Hook." I corrected him. "You mean the tale of how Captain Hook finally defeated Peter Pan."


End file.
